One of the most anticipated video game consoles of the year — the Nintendo SNES Classic Edition — comes out Sept. 29, and it’s still not available for pre-order in the U.S.
I failed to get an original before Nintendo after only about six months. I’m not about to take another L with the SNES Classic. I’m so prepared to buy this mini retro console that I’m literally losing sleep over it. I think it’s because I’m not even sure where I can buy one. Clearly, Nintendo hates me.
You’d think pre-ordering something in 2017 would be easy, but that never seems to be the case for hot items. There always seem to be a shortages, leaving droves of people in tears.
I realize that it’s horrible I’m complaining about not being able to indulge in consumerism when there are way more concerning matters like poverty and famine out there. And yet that isn’t stopping me from complaining about how Nintendo won’t sell me a plastic box that plays games from 25 years ago.
People in Europe have been able to pre-order their version of the SNES Classic (called Super Famicom Classic over there), while we’re sitting here in North America putzing around in the dark.
Nintendo hasn’t even announced which retailers will let you pre-order the system. So when Walmart unexpectedly opened sales for the SNES Classic a few weeks ago on a Friday night just minutes before midnight, I was caught completely off guard and had to scramble to create a new account and enter all of my credit card, billing, and shipping information.
I felt triumphant as I reviewed the confirmation email. The friend I was with was dumbfounded by me frantically tapping details into my phone. She didn’t even know what the SNES Classic was, I didn’t care really care that her and everyone else at the bar we were at were puzzled by my excitement.
I couldn’t contain my joy and just had to tweet to the world that I secured one.
In between bar hopping, I perused Twitter only to see tweets from people who missed out on the pre-order. Walmart had sold out and it was all because they weren’t prepared.
I, on the other hand, was ready for pre-orders to go live. Prior to Walmart’s listing going up, I had followed the @Wario64 Twitter account and turned notifications on. Whoever runs the account is on it with the video game deals. They’re so reliable and quick to alert people when a deal’s live that they’ve rightfully earned over 72,000 followers.
In your face, people who went to bed at a reasonable hour… or so I thought. By the time I got home at 3:57 a.m., I received the email I hoped to never get, telling me my order was canceled. I was crushed and couldn’t process it.
Weeks of following @Wario64 and getting pestered by every single notification alert for every video game deal tweeted out on my iPhone, iPad, and Apple Watch went down the toilet with one email. I cursed them out.
Wow, fuck you walmart. Canceled SNES Classic order…
— Raymond Wong 📱💾📼 (@raywongy) July 22, 2017
Walmart’s reason for canceling my order was apparently because it “couldn’t verify some or all of your payment information.” Bullshit. All of my information was right. I triple-checked.
It was late, and I was tired and totally not drunk. I went to bed angry and woke up pissed and cranky. I skipped breakfast and lunch because I was so mad. All this over an $80 game console.
Twitter made things better, though. People were tweeting left and right that their orders were canceled too. Theories started popping up as to why some pre-orders were or weren’t canceled. Some people theorized that if you made a new account (which I did) your order was canceled because it couldn’t be verified, hence the verification email. Others were boasting how it was 12 hours since their pre-order and they didn’t receive any cancellation emails. I was livid. Why didn’t my pre-order go through?
I’m scared to sleep too early because I’m afraid a late night listing like the Walmart one might pop up again and I’ll miss it because I’ll be the idiot that went to bed.
Days went by and I sulked and tried to pep myself up (there would be more chances at other retailers), but I couldn’t accept it. Walmart owed us an explanation.
And then finally Walmart dropped the bomb: It was canceling everyone’s SNES Classic pre-orders. Yesss, redemption. They blamed the product listing on a “technical glitch” that resulted in the page accidentally going up. I’m a terrible person for basking in this communal cancellation, but it did make me feel a lot better. If I couldn’t get an console, no one else should.
It feels like it’s been a month since Walmart canceled all the pre-orders, but it’s only been a little over week.
I’m still glued to my devices waiting for that @Wario64 tweet that’ll point to the place to buy an SNES Classic. I’m scared to sleep too early because I’m afraid a late night listing like the Walmart one might pop up again and I’ll miss it because I’ll be the idiot that went to bed. And so I stay up past midnight even on weekdays.
I’ve even roped friends into this ridiculous hype and now they’re also following several Twitter accounts, notifications on blast, waiting for listings to go live. It’s really out of control.
Following these accounts has also made me spend money on games I don’t need. I’ve already purchased like five games for PS4 that I know I won’t have time to play just because they were dirt cheap. It’s so hard to not buy crap when you’re waiting on these accounts to tell you when you can buy the crap you’re waiting to buy.
My hell is almost over, though. Nintendo said last week that pre-orders would go up at North American retailers later this month. They’re not saying exactly when, but they said, “A significant amount of additional systems will be shipped to stores for launch day, and throughout the balance of the calendar year.”
It’s somewhat reassuring, but since no specific pre-order date was announced I’m still following these Twitter accounts like a zombie in the event that Nintendo fails to notify me or I miss it. I feel like human trash for putting myself through all of this, but I will get an SNES Classic no matter what it takes. I will not be denied another retro Nintendo console remake. Not after all the hell I’ve gone through.