Texting while driving isn’t the safest way to perform either activity. It’s difficult for authorities to prevent people from texting while driving, not only because some kind of breathalyzer that knows how long ago your fingers poked a touchscreen keypad doesn’t yet exist, but also because it’s difficult to see over the window of a car as it drives by. In order to overcome those two difficulties, the New York police force is employing some mind-blowing future-tech to catch would-be mobile criminals: SUVs that are taller than other vehicles so police can peer into a criminal’s car.
While we’re not quite at the point of enslaving a family of three with the powers of precognition in order to stop text-based pre-crime, surely that is the only move left once the public catches on and starts driving taller cars. For now, the somewhat taller vehicles will have to do — 32 in all bestowed upon New York’s fearless pioneers of traffic regulation. During what can only be assumed as a high-octane two-month period in which New York authorities became the very essence of law manifest in human (in tall SUV) form, 5,553 tickets were delivered unto guilty drivers, up from 924 over the course of the same period the previous year.
According to the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration, 660,000 vehicle operators are texting at any given moment during the daylight hours, just a presumed 6,666 off from the textpocalypse. The need for big-and-tall SUVs is not unfounded, as 421,000 drivers were injured in accidents caused by driving distractions last year alone, with over 3,300 people killed.
What would a dystopian future where the textless roads were ruled by an iron wheel be without a rad acronymic name for the SUV? Behold CITE, the Concealed Identity Traffic Enforcement. While out keeping the road safe, CITE demonstrated its second-greatest ability behind being a little taller than normal — stealth — as a woman was blatantly texting while driving and didn’t suspect she was being monitored. That’s because CITE has assumed the form of a normal-looking sport utility vehicle. Perhaps once wind of the CITE vehicles catches on, we may all be driving in Panopticonic fear that every SUV might be in disguise.
New York is the diamond in the rough-and-tumble, ready to corral every lawless vagabond who feels texting their mom that they’re going to be a little late for dinner isn’t worth pulling over to the side of the road. Be warned, other states may soon adopt the technology of kinda taller cars. Drive safe, don’t text.